We just saw Chad and Tara Kucko in the coffeeshop. He will help me put in the tile so we can hook up the fridge and roll it into its place in the kitchen!
Today marks their 24th anniversary. They are choosing joy and to work on the relationship. How courageous and cool. They buried a son last year. Gage had an incalculably difficult sojourn in this world.
The have remained positive and amazing.
We talked for a while after church to Sam and Jane. They are retired and load up the horses and take adventures in the western Rockies when not at their farm, home base.
And I rembered something, and remembered something new. I remembered that choosing to date, to court your spouse requires work; and that is under attack. Two women on Fresh Air on NPR this weekend were labeling Burt Bacharach’s ode to a wife, adjuring her to put on make up and look nice for her husband coming home “was rampantly sexist.”
They are both feminists, and I think, single. And if they don’t get the genius, the reality of Bacharach’s Hey Little Girl, they will probably die old, happy, and single.
Young couples date because it is new. Older couples date because it is them, it has become “You” after ceasing to be “new”. That I knew for a long time. The new part is that I must choose to remember the great parts of my girlfriend. My best girlfriend. I must let that color my opinion, my impression. My first reference and response to her.
Otherwise, I forget who it is I want to date, to create new memories with, to celebrate to all who know us — how amazingly fortunate, blessed, or lucky I am.
Like I said, we are on one of our coffee shop dates. The new girl and I are making memories, rather than wishing for old ones. Continually new, she is, even when I am slow to remember!